Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Deep Thoughts, Cheap Shots, and Bon Mots

(With apologies to Scott Ostler, who coined the title phrase, and to the great Jimmy Cannon, who popularized the style.)

Well, Johnny Vander Meer, wherever you are, your place in history is safe again...  Lincecum's train wreck last night was the worst start of his career; was it the worst start ever to follow a no-hitter? Somebody check, please; we've got work to do...  Single-admission doubleheader today, the old-school way. How long's it been since we had one? Somebody check, please; we've got work to do...  Don't get us wrong, we love "real" doubleheaders. If every team in the major leagues scheduled just one doubleheader each month, we could shorten the regular season by two weeks without losing any games, and there'd be no danger of a World Series 'ice delay' come November...  Today's nightcap is a make-up of a game rained out in Cincinnati. Accordingly, the Reds will bat last in the game and wear their home whites, while the Giants don the greys...  Has this ever happened before? Somebody check, please; we've got work to do...  Sodden thought  (we stole that one from the great Herb Caen): will the teams switch dugouts, too? Somehow we doubt it...  According to the Giants' website, despite the odd logistics this one still counts as a home game...  We'd wager the last time the Giants played a "road" game in their own ballpark was Game Four of the 1922 World Series at the Polo Grounds against their old "tenants," the Yankees...   No, we don't need y'all to check that one, we're pretty sure of it... "Blackbeard's Return?" No, it's not a Johnny Depp blockbuster; it's Brian Wilson, quietly working out under the watchful visage of Dave Righetti at the USF ballfield Monday, quoth the grapevine...  Speaking of guys who've had Tommy John surgery, erstwhile lefty Eric Surkamp's been called up to make the first-game start... Speaking of callups, the Reds send rookie Greg Reynolds, late of Louisville, against Barry Zito in the nightcap... Speaking of Louisville, we'll be visiting the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary there in August... Zito's home-road splits this year are amazing, or appalling, depending on your point of view; he's 4-1, 2.45 at the 'Bell and 0-6, 9.89 on the road...  We remember Shawn Estes having some crazy home-road splits back in the '90s, but this takes the cake...  Maybe the Giants should leave Zito at home and take Surkamp or somebody on the road; silly as it sounds, it couldn't possibly hurt...  What's the worst home-road split for any regular starting pitcher in history, anyway? Somebody check, please; we've got work to do.  #30  

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